It is still freezing cold here on the Northeast coast so I seem to forget often that it is already mid-April! And with it being mid-April, I realized that next week starting April 19th is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). I am part of this because I am one of the many women who suffered two miscarriages prior to getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I have a story of loss, heartache, faith, strength and beauty that I will never forget and will forever continue to share in hopes of helping other women who are on journeys of loss and infertility. Knowing others have walked the path doesn't always make things easier, but I found a sense of peace knowing I was not alone when it came to my fertility struggles.
Today I want to share a few things I did while I was trying to improve my fertility and life that truly made a big impact on my mental health. For me, even though getting pregnant and staying pregnant has to do with a lot of physical issues, I believe mental blocks are a big player as well when it comes to fertility. I mean, I created the Mother Yourself First 21-Day Reset, which focuses solely on your mental health surrounding infertility and women's health issues so obviously I feel that it is SO important to take care of your mind and soul along with your body! While the 21-Day Reset really dives deep into these practices, today I will share my 3 favorite ways to find some peace and clarity surrounding your loss or struggles.
1. MEDITATE-Are you sick of hearing that yet? Don't believe it works? Please don't shrug this suggestion off because it makes your mind and heart and soul feel so good. I never feel more peaceful and clear than I do after a good meditation. And I'll be honest, meditating is not always something I feel like doing even though I know how much it helps me, but once I sit down (even for just 5-10 minutes), I feel like a new human. My favorite way to meditate right now is a lot of deep breathing (hello COVID-19 pandemic anxiety) and simple meditations that focus on mindfulness. I've been using the Insight Timer app and it has EVERYTHING. If you are unsure of where to start, DM me or email me, and I would love to help guide you.
2. Take 10 minutes every day to just be with your grief. If you have experienced loss surrounding your fertility, it is just sad. I know it. And instead of trying to push it away all the time, I encourage you to just sit with it each day whether that means crying the whole time like I have (and still do some days) or just thinking about what happened. This allows you to focus on your loss for a certain amount of time, recognize it for what it is, validate your emotions, and then move through it for the rest of the day. Each day I did this, I not only used less tissues, but it allowed me to truly release 99% of my sadness surrounding my losses. And yes, this did take me time, but I am here to tell you with time and mindfulness, I did feel better, and I truly believe you can too.
3. Complete a small task everyday. Shifting your focus to something you can control the outcome of really helps you feel more peaceful and lessens anxiety. Instead of focusing on your loss all day (take the 10 minutes like above), give yourself the permission to focus on something that will make you feel accomplished and happy. And I'm not saying to clean out your entire house in one day. I'm talking about one small thing each day or every few days. Organize ONE drawer, clean out ONE shelf in your closet, or clean ONE room in your house. Play your favorite songs, drink your favorite drink, wear something comfy and let yourself feel in control of something!
I see all of you in your loss and I am here. Love to you all.